Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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