New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
