We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
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