giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
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