did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize