I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
