last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
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