i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
Randomize
