i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
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