i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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