Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Randomize
