just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
