It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
