There was a lot of him and a little penis
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
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