Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Randomize
