He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Randomize