if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
What changed your mind?
Being sober
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Randomize
