I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
