worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
