addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize