I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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