I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
