His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
