Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Randomize
