WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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