Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Randomize