So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
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