? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Randomize
