He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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