I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
