My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
There was a lot of him and a little penis
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
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