needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
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