sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
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