i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
