My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
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