Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Randomize