he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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