Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Randomize
