I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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