omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Randomize
