Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Randomize
