I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
Randomize
