okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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