All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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