This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
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