So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
