I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Randomize