quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize
