you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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