Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
