She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Randomize
