you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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