none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize
