I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
