Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Randomize