my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
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