Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
