My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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