im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
