There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
