She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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