What a fucking waste of an outfit
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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