just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
My penis needs a shock collar
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Randomize
