Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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